The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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