Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm experimenting with sincerity
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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