I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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