She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
