True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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