i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
