she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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