Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
