you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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