My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
