Jerry, you need to find god
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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