is your mom at the bar?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
