I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
