Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
