I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Me too!
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
