Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
