Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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