i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Every concussion has its silver lining
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
