okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
