Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
