Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
