I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Randomize
