yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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