I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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