I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
