I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The beers last night were like the tears from god
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
