woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
