i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
