I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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