Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
