I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
bring money and cleavage
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
