$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
