it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
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