He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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