carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
