what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It's official drugs can't kill me
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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