my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
