How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
