I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
