Plan B is the new Plan A
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
