is your mom at the bar?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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