On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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