I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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