I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
