the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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