i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
