My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
