We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Im part way to drunk.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
