I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
