I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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