is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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