Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I will pee on everything he values.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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