Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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