I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
