I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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